Listen up all you bitches and followhores - KOLbert Report time.

This news of TomStud playing bff to Bert in Remember Me, has me and Femme literally crying - from our eyes and our vajayjays. If those two hot messes aren't filming in NYC when we are there, I will throw myself off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Also, it's quite obvious that we are crazy obsessed (it's semi pathetic) with Kings of Leon/the Followills. From now on, we are going have KOLbert Reports (hahaha, Colbert Report) - reports on KOL and Bert. That being said, here is our first KOlbert Report.

Use these visuals while reading the following.

Elitist - "what's really depressing is if i was boning bert and you were getting freaky with tom, we would already know the answer of whether or not tomstud is in this fucking movie."

Femme Fatale - "seriously. we would be poppin bottles of dom right now celebrating in the hot tub of berts penthouse suite. eating bk veggie burgers. ....spilling champagne over toms head. and when i say head...i mean...."

Elitist - "fucking truth. taking photos of bert doing..."

Femme Fatale - "YESSSSSS. celebratory BLEEP off of tom."

Elitist - "this is the best shit i've heard all day."

Femme Fatale - "and as a present to them both...we got caleb and nathan to come perform naked. wait is this our fantasy or Berts?"

Elitist - "both. i'm sure he has the same fantasy about us."

Femme Fatale - "yes, him and tom."

Elitist - "obvs. and i'm sure that leb and nathan have thought of us with tombert as well."

Femme Fatale - "bahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahaha."

Elitist - "pahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahaha. we are stupidly amazing."

Reunited and it feels sooo good

FUCK YES.

Bert and Tom together at last!

The source is all over the pictures.

Bert's Ass.

I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I AM IN LOVE WITH THESE PHOTOS. MMMMM BERT'S BUM.
Rob leaving LAX today.

Our supplier. 

Rob was supposed to jizz in his pants.

At least this is what Marc Malkin is saying. He reports that Bert was supposed to take part of the singing medley. Umm, can you imagine Rob singing that he jizzed in his pants or that his dick was in a box? Holy hell, I would have died of laughter - that would have been the BEST thing ever.

I love Andy's mancrush on Rob. Even if it's in his hypothetical gay world. 

THANK YOU MTV.

You may have tricked me into watching The Hills, twice, MTV, but I thank you for all the KOLbert (Kings of Leon and RPattz) goodness.

Rob feels 'hard'. I want to feel him when he is 'hard' too.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

So apparently Bert is going to NYC on Monday, which is tomorrow. Which leads me to believe that there will be one very Hungoverbert tomorrow.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Cam, you're schmexy and you know it but I'm not really digging the shirt.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

30 seconds of Bert being the adorable beast that he is.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Kings of Leon meeting Will Ferrell and Danny McBride - WHERE THE FUCK WAS NATHAN ?!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

BECAUSE I CAN - KINGS OF LEON "USE SOMEBODY"

Kings Of Leon - New Music - More Music Videos

We're back and we come bearing presents. Sort of.

Hellooooooooo everyone. We'll just pretend like we haven't not updated in 11 days. 

Okay so the MTV Movie Awards was hands down the best award show of any kind of ever, and fuck you if you think differently. Andy Samberg as host was the best thing MTV has ever done. Bruno landing on Eminem's face will replay in my head for YEARS.  Last but certainly not least, KINGS OF FUCKING LEON. If you know us in the slightest, you'll know that we are Follwhores and want to have unprotected sex while ovulating with any of the Followills. WE LOVED THEM. 

Anyway, here are some of the good Twilight/New Moon moments from the show. And just incase you haven't seen it, the New Moon trailer. (Which had Femme and I squealing and crying like the fangirls that we are.)

*Not the best quality. I mean the show did just end like an hour ago*

Best Kiss - Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

Best Female Performance - Kristen Stewart


Best Breakthrough Male Performance - Robert Pattinson


Best Movie - Twilight


New Moon trailer

And lastly cause these 4 guys have literally taken over our brains, some KOL goodness.

Bloody fuckin hell...yo vengo

Source

Videos of Bert in Cannes

I have missed hearing his laugh. gah.

Source

Well shit...Bert all over Cannes.

Source

Source

Sorry for the lack of updates...apparently they are creepin on what sites we go on at work and we had to lay off like 6 people a couple weeks ago so I am trying to limit my cyberloafing at the workplace. hahaha

New Moon Poster

Holy whacking off scene Bertman !

Just as the title implies, le sex scene from Little Ashes. Not for the faint of heart (or for those who want to take Bert seriously), you are warned. 

Twitter or email us if you want to see it.

A text message conversation.

Elitist - "A gift awaits you when you get back to a computer. In the form of Little Asses sex scene where Bert is whacking off in the corner. Needless to say I am crying. But I can't tell it it's because it's that good or because I can't take this shit seriously at all."

Femme Fatale - "Oh Jesus Christe......should I be scurrred?"

Elitist - "Decided that it's cause Rob's cum face is too fucking lol worthy. And if it's real then I'll just give him a bj, no sex is needed. Actually I would prob laugh at him. Forgive me priestward."

Femme Fatale - "Bahahahhahahahahha oh Jesus is my dream going to be ruined over this?"

Elitist - "Well I'm saying I'm still laughing and it's been like a half hour."

Time has elapsed and Femme is now at a computer.

Elitist - "Here's the vid. You are warned."

Femme Fatale - "Oh God, I don't know if I can do it."

(that's what she said. ha.)

Elitist - "Pahahahahaahhahahahahah. I'm loling just thinking about it."

(5 minutes passes)

Elitist - "Did you watch it, are you in shock?"

Femme Fatale - "No, I couldn't do it yet.

Elitist - "COME ON, just do it. Quick like a band aid."

Femme Fatale - "Bahahah okay, I'm going in."

Femme Fatale - "Oh for fucks sake. Jesus. Bahahahahahahahahahhhaha."

Elitist - "PHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA I told you ! We were right - totally gonna be LOLING during the whole fucking movie."

Femme Fatale -"The only thing heartbreaking in that scene is his oh face."

Elitist - "PAHAHAHAHAH."

100 Monkeys Philly 5.17

I went to see 100 Monkeys (last night) here are my pictures! They are really entertaining I highly suggest checking them out if you have the chance!

(if you use the pics please credit Femme Fatale and TwiHigh)